ARE TODAY'S TEETH TOO WHITE?
In a world where High definition Television magnifies every single flaw on the human face, it’s essential for on-air talent to look as amazing as possible, with camera makeup to match. Pores on the face need to be non-existent, skin flawless, hair perfect and teeth as white as a sheet of crisp new copy paper.
But these qualifications are bleeding into the mainstream—our everyday world. The other day I saw a guy smile and my eyes went right to his teeth. They were unnaturally white. Absurdly white. His smile could have been seen from the international space station it was so luminescent. So I began to think: is it possible for teeth to be too white? I guess if it’s giving you the wrong attention, I’d say the answer is: YES!
We live in a world where everyone is super clean and buzzed tight. Back in the 70’s, hair was everywhere and 90% of the population looked as though they’d smoked nine packs of unfiltered Camels cigarettes since the day they were born. Have you ever seen a porno from the late seventies? The actors had so much hair between their legs, they looked as though they had a Muppet in a leg lock. Many times you couldn’t see what member was entering which hole.
Now hair is preened to a fine finish, teeth sparkle like polished diamonds and pubic hair is zipped into fine strips. Is this an improvement on the way we look and feel? In many ways, yes. Sure, some natural style goes a long way. Some men would look a whole lot better if they’d avoided that buzz cut look, and some women could do without the hair dyes and highlights. But for the most part, we’re getting cleaner and more styled and all for the better.
A lot of countries think we Americans wash too much—which is probably true. We think if you don’t smell like a freshly picked flour in a vase of cologne, you’re borderline “offensive.” Some countries go a pretty long time without a shower and they consider the smell of a natural body alluring. In fact, pheromones are released from the body through the sweat glands and pores, so if they’re clogged with fragrant lotions and washes, are we stopping the natural breeding process? Considering how overcrowded the planet is, perhaps not, but I think skipping a day to let the natural oils build back in the skin and hair is probably a good thing.
But back to the “pearly whites.” They’re not so pearly as much as flashlight white these days. You shouldn’t look as though you clicked in a set of Snap On Smiles. They should look… well, pearly and natural. We have the power to get professional grade whitening products to use in our home, and they’re a fraction of the expensive treatments, but we shouldn’t abuse them. Yellow teeth are gross, but teeth that look as though you rolled a coat of flat white ceiling paint over them is just wrong.
I myself have used Crest white strips and they helped erase some of the years of smoking and coffee drinking I lacquered over them. But I stopped once they were at a natural looking white. Some people keep going to the point of looking fake. Having natural teeth that look fake is kind of pointless, but like a lot of things, some people just can’t stop.
Toothpastes have whitening formulas built in them so you get a treatment when you brush. There’s also mouthwashes, pre-brushing treatments and whitening gum as well. At this rate, the color yellow may be eliminated from our color spectrum.
But what are all these products doing to our teeth? Is the long-term effect damaging? So many things erode the enamel on our teeth as it is. I once had someone scream at me for sucking on a lemon because it “ERODES THE ENAMEL” on my teeth. For the love of Pete, if a lemon is damaging to the teeth, I can only imagine what as strip of whitening chemicals is doing to the ol’ chompers.
But I guess many people don’t think about the long haul. They’ll bake in the sun, smoke cigarettes and whiten their teeth till they look like a 1984 Ban de Soliel magazine ad and pay the price later.
When you look as perfect as a mannequin, you attract other mannequin-like people and when you’re natural looking, you attract natural looking people. But what is natural? Have we gotten so far away from what natural looks like that we can’t go back? Natural people from way back when didn’t pump iron and have rock-hard chiseled abs. They didn’t do isolation workouts for the core and make the glutes look so round you could bounce a quarter off them, they looked… natural.
There’s a balance we need to have in our modern day. The sun is good in small batches, fatty foods good in small amounts and the whiteness of our teeth the shade of a newly popped oyster pearl.
I personally could never be on High Definition TV because I have face pores that you could drive a Mack truck through. I try and keep my face clean, pores clear and my teeth clean, but I don’t overdo it. The world is changing and TV talent will be based on a new set of criteria besides personality and the ability to speak well. It will also require china doll skin and teeth that gleam like the sun.
These people are not real in many ways. They exist in a vacuum of perpetual pampering and dermatologist visits. They have really big lollypop heads and teeth the size of highway billboards. On TV they seem fine, but see them in real life and your shocked by how short, tan, clean, slicked (fill in any reaction here) they are.
So layoff the whitening strips if you can. Yes, coffee and smoking can make the teeth look crusty. Years of food and drink can dull the shine. But clean up the clackers for a natural look. If your turning heads because your teeth look like reflectors that a jogger would use for a night run, time to chuck the white strips in the trash and switch to regular old bubble gum.
But these qualifications are bleeding into the mainstream—our everyday world. The other day I saw a guy smile and my eyes went right to his teeth. They were unnaturally white. Absurdly white. His smile could have been seen from the international space station it was so luminescent. So I began to think: is it possible for teeth to be too white? I guess if it’s giving you the wrong attention, I’d say the answer is: YES!
We live in a world where everyone is super clean and buzzed tight. Back in the 70’s, hair was everywhere and 90% of the population looked as though they’d smoked nine packs of unfiltered Camels cigarettes since the day they were born. Have you ever seen a porno from the late seventies? The actors had so much hair between their legs, they looked as though they had a Muppet in a leg lock. Many times you couldn’t see what member was entering which hole.
Now hair is preened to a fine finish, teeth sparkle like polished diamonds and pubic hair is zipped into fine strips. Is this an improvement on the way we look and feel? In many ways, yes. Sure, some natural style goes a long way. Some men would look a whole lot better if they’d avoided that buzz cut look, and some women could do without the hair dyes and highlights. But for the most part, we’re getting cleaner and more styled and all for the better.
A lot of countries think we Americans wash too much—which is probably true. We think if you don’t smell like a freshly picked flour in a vase of cologne, you’re borderline “offensive.” Some countries go a pretty long time without a shower and they consider the smell of a natural body alluring. In fact, pheromones are released from the body through the sweat glands and pores, so if they’re clogged with fragrant lotions and washes, are we stopping the natural breeding process? Considering how overcrowded the planet is, perhaps not, but I think skipping a day to let the natural oils build back in the skin and hair is probably a good thing.
But back to the “pearly whites.” They’re not so pearly as much as flashlight white these days. You shouldn’t look as though you clicked in a set of Snap On Smiles. They should look… well, pearly and natural. We have the power to get professional grade whitening products to use in our home, and they’re a fraction of the expensive treatments, but we shouldn’t abuse them. Yellow teeth are gross, but teeth that look as though you rolled a coat of flat white ceiling paint over them is just wrong.
I myself have used Crest white strips and they helped erase some of the years of smoking and coffee drinking I lacquered over them. But I stopped once they were at a natural looking white. Some people keep going to the point of looking fake. Having natural teeth that look fake is kind of pointless, but like a lot of things, some people just can’t stop.
Toothpastes have whitening formulas built in them so you get a treatment when you brush. There’s also mouthwashes, pre-brushing treatments and whitening gum as well. At this rate, the color yellow may be eliminated from our color spectrum.
But what are all these products doing to our teeth? Is the long-term effect damaging? So many things erode the enamel on our teeth as it is. I once had someone scream at me for sucking on a lemon because it “ERODES THE ENAMEL” on my teeth. For the love of Pete, if a lemon is damaging to the teeth, I can only imagine what as strip of whitening chemicals is doing to the ol’ chompers.
But I guess many people don’t think about the long haul. They’ll bake in the sun, smoke cigarettes and whiten their teeth till they look like a 1984 Ban de Soliel magazine ad and pay the price later.
When you look as perfect as a mannequin, you attract other mannequin-like people and when you’re natural looking, you attract natural looking people. But what is natural? Have we gotten so far away from what natural looks like that we can’t go back? Natural people from way back when didn’t pump iron and have rock-hard chiseled abs. They didn’t do isolation workouts for the core and make the glutes look so round you could bounce a quarter off them, they looked… natural.
There’s a balance we need to have in our modern day. The sun is good in small batches, fatty foods good in small amounts and the whiteness of our teeth the shade of a newly popped oyster pearl.
I personally could never be on High Definition TV because I have face pores that you could drive a Mack truck through. I try and keep my face clean, pores clear and my teeth clean, but I don’t overdo it. The world is changing and TV talent will be based on a new set of criteria besides personality and the ability to speak well. It will also require china doll skin and teeth that gleam like the sun.
These people are not real in many ways. They exist in a vacuum of perpetual pampering and dermatologist visits. They have really big lollypop heads and teeth the size of highway billboards. On TV they seem fine, but see them in real life and your shocked by how short, tan, clean, slicked (fill in any reaction here) they are.
So layoff the whitening strips if you can. Yes, coffee and smoking can make the teeth look crusty. Years of food and drink can dull the shine. But clean up the clackers for a natural look. If your turning heads because your teeth look like reflectors that a jogger would use for a night run, time to chuck the white strips in the trash and switch to regular old bubble gum.