NICORETTE GUM
Nicorette,
I absolutely love your gum! Best thing on the market right now. I chew about 35 pieces a day and it really helps me get through the day. My kids Chloe 6 and Jacob 4 just love chewing on your mint flavor gum. They can’t get enough! They beg me for more and more! I think I’m going to get a case of it for their birthday next year! LOL!!! Since I chew it so often, I’m wondering if you’re going to introduce more flavors in the future? Maybe even mix it up with flavors like roast beef or French toast. I know it sounds crazy, but why not? It could even be a meal replacement. Thanks for reading my email. Louis Frillman |
Dear Ms. Frillman,
We have received your e-mail message regarding Nicorette® Mint stop smoking aid. We are very pleased to know that Nicorette Mint has helped you quit smoking. Quitting smoking is not an easy task, so you should be very proud of yourself for this big accomplishment. However, the FDA prohibits the sale of NRT products to individuals under 18 years of age. This product contains nicotine. We appreciate your taking the time to contact us. Respectfully, Gimena GlaxoSmithKline Consumer Healthcare Case # 3611652 |
COORS/ZIMA
Dear Coors,
I wanted to know when you’re going to bring back Zima. I LOVE that stuff! All my friends make fun of me because I can’t drink beer (makes me gag) and punch me when I drink “girly drinks” like cosmos or wine spritzers. My brother Steve once saw me drinking a mojito and said “What are you drinking, a fucking salad?” then hit me over the head with a chandelier. He’s always kidding with me. Anyway, I remember when Zima came out in the early 90s when I was in school and I would buy that stuff by the case. That’s how we got the ladies drunk! LOL! It was all I had going for me as I don’t have any ears. I haven’t had Zima in a few years and I heard you discontinued it. Now I’m stuck with those Smirnoff Ice things and they’re very strong. I usually have to have them over ice (ironically) with a splash of soda. I get drunk easily. I once got so drunk I didn’t realize my brother Steve and his friends had stuffed me inside a tuba. Anyway. Let me know if Zima is coming back. You can be assured of one customer! Norman Frillman P.S. I realize one customer is not enough to start a product again, so I’ll try and start a petition. My friend Alejandro is sure to sign. Thanks! Norman Willy Frillman |
Thank you for contacting MillerCoors.
Unfortunately, Zima was discontinued due to lack of consumer demand. Sales simply did not warrant production. It was good of you to share your interest in this product and perhaps you may be interested in trying another MillerCoors brand. We appreciate your interest in our products. Sincerely, MillerCoors Consumer Affairs Department |
POLIGRIP
Poligrip,
I’ve been using your cream for only a short time and I like it very much. I’m actually a younger man who lost his teeth in a deli slicer incident and I’m required to wear dentures until my mouth and cheekbone can be reconstructed. I have a question about the strength of your product. One evening after a night of drinking with my brother Steve, we both fell asleep on the couch and awoke to find my dentures stuck to his forehead. They were really on there pretty good. Almost like cement. We tried to pry them off but it did no good. We eventually used steam to loosen them up and then knocked them off with a ball peen hammer. My question is if you’ve ever heard of an interaction with alcohol causing your product to form this strong of a bond? It was almost as if someone had glued it to his forehead. Any information would be great. Thanks! Norman Frillman |
Dear Mr. Frillman,
We have received your e-mail message regarding Super Poligrip® Denture Adhesive. We have not tested the impact of alcohol on Super Poligrip. We appreciate your taking the time to contact us. Respectfully, Gimena GlaxoSmithKline Consumer Healthcare |
POTBELLY SANDWICHES
Pot Belly,
My brother Steve and I are HUGE fans of Pot Belly sandwich shops and think you guys are the best in the history of sandwiches. We first started eating your sandwiches as kids when our mother went out at night and would leave up for hours, sometimes days alone and we would walk to the Pot Belly near us to eat. We still love them and even though my brother lost all his teeth in a flower arranging accident, he still eats them every day! Sometimes we put them in a blender and he drinks them like a milk shake! Weird, I know, but he drinks ‘em down! LOL! We once went to a Subway and ate Pot Belly sandwiches, which was not met with approval from the Subway staff. We were nearly arrested after we caused a riot in the place and were asked to never return. No problem! In hindsight, we probably should not have started a fire, but we love Pot Belly!!! Haha! Ok Thanks for reading. Norman “Willy” Frillman |
Hello Norman ~
Thanks for writing to Potbelly. We truly appreciate hearing how much you and your brother love Potbelly. I can't say that I'd turn one of our sandwiches into a smoothie but maybe playing with the ratio of marinara and hot peppers to bread and meats could whip up a good thick soup. Either way we love hearing from our fans and hope to hear more from Norman and Willy. Cheers, Laura Berrones Speaker of the House Potbelly Sandwich Shop |
DUMMIES BOOKS
Dear Dummie Books,
I recently purchased a Dummies book on how to use computers and I realize after reading through some of the book that I don’t really understand how to use your Dummies Books. Do you have a Dummies book on how to properly use Dummies books? If you do not, perhaps it is something I can try and write when I’ve figured out how to properly use the books. My brother Steve bought a book on fitness stuff and he’s struggling to understand the Dummies format as well. Thank you for any help. Norman “Willy” Frillman |
Norman,
No I apologize, we do not have a book on how to read a "For Dummies" book. Thank you, Jennifer |
LUNESTA SLEEP AID
Lunesta,
I’ve used Lunestaa few times and I have to say the results are promising. After a trauLunestahas really helped. The only problems are the multiple side effects I’m experiencing. Grogginess, pulsating gums, swollen tongue, knuckle spasms, French feeling, fatigue, dry lip, sounds are darwinesque, dry stomach, difficulty in walking, walrus gumboot, Diarrhea, breathy, wandering eye and neck pain. My brother Steve uses it too and he’s told me he’s had similar experiences as well. Like feelings of having scratchy clothes on his skin, weight gain, hangover-type feelings, remorse, farmers leg, lerching, rusty backswing, knockwurst and shoulder stiffness. I talked to my doctor and he told me that different users experience different side effects. He said he uses it and at times experiences a dry mouth, feeling waxy, abdomen pain, quakes, congestion, jazz hands, lock jaw and ticklish ribs. My buddy Andy experiences all of this and watery eyes, swimmer’s ear, tipsyness, backlog, neck lock, ludacris, unawareness, freezer burn and “Tom Cruisy”. Perhaps you can add these to your list of side effects. If you have a list of other side effects that I can reference, please direct me to them. Thank you, Norman Frillman |
Mr. Norman Frillman,
Sunovion is committed to collecting and reporting all safety related information we receive regarding our products and we are asking you to provide the additional information listed below. The information you provide to us is confidential and vital to ensuring the safety of our products and, more importantly, our patients. Would you please provide contact information for your brother Steve, your buddy Andy and your doctor so we can contact them directly for more information? Can you please provide your phone number so we can contact you directly? By talking to you directly, we feel we could better understand your experience with Lunesta. You may also contact us at 877-737-7226. Thank you for your time. Sincerely, Sunovion Drug Safety & Pharmacovigilance 84 Waterford Drive Marlborough, MA 01752 877-737-7226 drugsafety@sunovion.com 
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Thank you for contacting me regarding your product.
Sorry for the delay as I just got back from D.C. where I hosted a dinner for the 12th Annual Running of the Disenfranchised. My brother Steven doesn’t have a phone or internet access as he prefers to be off “the grid” as he likes to say. If you wish to communicate with him, you can do so through me. My buddy Andy’s number is 631-662-1321 and is available to speak only during the day as he has a lot of kids and is quite busy at night. My doctor isn’t really a “doctor” in the traditional sense. He’s more like a healer, if you will. I receive Lunesta from him through the mail by way of Canadian website. I’m not sure of his number, so you have to forgive me for my lack of information on this. |
Mr.. Norman Frillman,
Thank you for providing information concerning your brother, your friend and your "healer." Could you please answer the following questions regarding your experience with Lunesta? What dose of Lunesta were you taking and how frequently? Was this a prescription or samples? Are you still taking Lunesta? If no, when did you discontinue use? Please list a start and stop date for the side effects you reported: •Grogginess •Pulsating gums •Swollen tongue •Knuckle spasms •Fatigue •Dry lip •Difficulty in walking •Diarrhea •Neck pain The following side effects you listed are not found on the Medline Dictionary. Could you please provide further description of the listed side effects with start and stop dates? •French feeling •Sounds are darwinesque •Walrus gumboot •Breathy •Wandering eye Please provide you age, height and weight. Please provide any other medications you are taking and the indication for these medications. Please provide your phone number and address. Thank you for your time. Sincerely, Sunovion Drug Safety & Pharmacovigilance 84 Waterford Drive Marlborough, MA 01752 877-737-7226 drugsafety@sunovion.com 
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Dear Sirs or Madams,
I apologize but I am unable to recall times and dates of any of these symptoms because I have not been keeping proper journals or logs. In fact I can’t remember much of anything, but I doubt it is because of your medicine. That is more due to the fact that I receive regular shock treatments. Thank you for all your information and time, but I’m unable to continue our correspondence as I work for the government and I’m going deep under cover. I’m not quite sure where I’ll be stationed on this crazy planet of ours, but you can be assured that I will be protecting the liberty and freedom of our country with the thoughts of respectable and hard-working Americans such as yourself. God speed to you and to myself as I embark on perhaps my most dangerous mission yet—to boldly risk life and limb for our wonderful USA so that all the children and adults of our country can sleep soundly at night—a mission that you also partake in, only with medicine. God bless America! Norman Willy Frillman |
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FLINTSTONES VITAMINS
Flintstone Vitamins,
I recently purchased some of your Flintstones Complete chewable vitamins for my son Norman Jr. and I was disappointed to find that they weren’t complete at all! They have vitamin A and B and C and D, but for some reason your vitamins don’t have any vitamin G or H or K or anything after F as far as I can tell. I checked the label to see if the information was continued somewhere else, maybe on the back of the label, but I didn’t see any further vitamins listed. I also went back to the store to see if perhaps you offered another vitamin supplements with the other vitamins of the alphabet but didn’t see any other. I assumed complete meant COMPLETE! I’m wondering exactly how you can call a vitamin complete without all the vitamins listed? You have the ABCs but no XYZs. Please contact me immediately to let me know. Thank you, Norman Frillman |
Dear Mr. Frillman:
Thank you for taking the time to contact Bayer HealthCare. We appreciate your interest in FLINTSTONES® Complete Children's Chewable vitamins. The only vitamin not included in the Flintstones Complete formula is Vitamin K. There are currently no vitamin types between E and K. Vitamin K was not included in the formula as it is naturally produced by the body, and is also readily available from a variety of food sources. In appreciation of your interest, we will be sending you a coupon booklet via U.S. Mail. You can expect to receive your coupons in the next 7-10 business days. If I may be of further assistance, please feel free to contact me. Sincerely, Eric Marchlinski Consumer Advisor |
PEZ CANDY
PEZ,
I was wondering if you could make a custom Pez dispenser with my brother's head on it? My brother is really quite ugly and I think it would be a riot to have one made and give it to him as a gift! Thanks! Attached is a picture of him. Thanks, Norman Willy Frillman 
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Hi Norman,
Thanks for your message. We're sorry to hear you have an ugly brother, unfortunately we do not make custom dispensers of people's heads. -PEZ Candy |
WALGREENS
Walgreens,
I really love your bargain Walgreen’s products, especially the razors! I recently stopped into a Walgreen’s store that was going out of business. They were practically giving stuff away! I purchased 11 bags of razors for about three dollars! What a bargain!! I went home and started to shave because I needed a shave very badly as I hadn’t done so in about 14 months. I got so into it I went overboard. I did my face then continued up and did the top of my head! It looked great! Then I did my eyebrows too! WOW! I looked like a cue ball. After stripping down, I did my chest, arm pits, stomach and… “Ahem” I then opened a second bag and went after my legs with a fresh set of blades and a can of shaving cream. Four hours later, I was clean from head to toe! And it was no small feet! I’m a pretty hairy guy! LOL! After tackling my legs I then shaved my wife. She was upset at first because I did it while she was sleeping. She’s gotten used to it now and actually loves the feeling. Our kids think we’re nuts, but we don’t care. We’re bald and beautiful!!! Long live Walgreen’s razors! Norman “Willy” Frillman |
Dear Norman,
Thank you for taking the time to contact us. We are always interested to hear from our customers and were happy to learn that you are pleased with our Walgreens brand Razors. For more than 100 years, Walgreens has been "The Pharmacy America Trusts" and has made a reputation on quality products, customer service and convenience. Now, millions of people are putting their trust in Walgreen Brand products with our 100% satisfaction guarantee. We hope you continue to purchase Walgreens Brand products that are backed up by our quality guarantee. Again, thank you for writing. I hope you will continue to purchase our products, and if I may be of any further help to you, please feel free to contact me. Sincerely, Lynn D. Consumer Relations Representative Product Quality Concerns |
HOOD SOUR CREAM
Hood,
I absolutely LOVE your sour cream. It is without a doubt the best sour cream in the world! It’s truly a little piece of heaven. I put it on potatoes, vegetables and other creams. I wanted to write to tell you how much I love your sour cream, but I also have an issue that I want to know if you can help me with… I’m interested in being encased in a giant blob of your delicious sour cream. Preferably in my bathtub. Do you think this would be possible? How much can you ship at once? Would you be able to help me? My wife thinks I’m a little nuts, but she likes to tackle strangers in the street without warning, so I think I’m OK in comparison. I’ve consulted with my doctor and he said he thought it was a bit odd, but couldn’t find any medical problems with doing it. He said the only potential danger may be frostbite. Personally, I enjoy the cool sensation (I’ve experimented with small amounts) and it would be my dream to eat my way out of the creamy entrapment. Have you ever done this with other customers? I’d like to know. Also, are you experimenting with any new flavors? Maybe chives or coffee flavors? I’d like to know for the future. Thanks so much for your response! Norman “Willy” Frillman |
Thank you for contacting Hood regarding our Sour Cream; however, we do not offer mail order service for our products.
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MANGO LANGUAGE LESSONS
Mango,
I was wondering if you’d be offering Native American languages in the future as a language choice? My wife speaks very little English to begin with and after being hit in the head with a sack of kidney beans, she seems determined to speak only in the tongue of the Iroquois. We’ve been communicating quite well using a series of hand gestures, hieroglyphics and knocks, but it would be a great benefit to me and our six children if we could learn Iroquoian. Apparently I called her a ‘mangy field’ the other day and she was not happy about it. Don’t get me wrong, our communication style has been working quite well for the past 10 years and it may be the sole reason we’re still together. People say communication is the key to a long marriage, but I would say a complete and total lack of communication could work just as well. I contacted Rosetta Stone, but they ignored me. Anyway, please let me know if you will offering ANY Native American languages in the future. Also interested in Muskogean and sign languages as well. Thanks, Norman Frillman |
Hello Norman Frillman,
Thank you for your inquiry. We are always open to suggestions. We are currently working on toward adding new languages. Unfortunately, I do not have a time line of when they will be release. Keep checking our website for updates! Please let me know if I can further assist you. Thanks and have a great day! Best regards, Mango Languages customercare@mangolanguages.com www.mangolanguages.com |
BUDWEISER
BUDWEISER
Budweiser, wanted to write to say that I love Budweiser beer. King of beers is right! Love Budweiser and bud lite too! Best beer on the market. Better than miller and Coors and any of that other crap! I heard Coors is run by Nazis. Is that true? On a hot day, there’s nothing better than tossing some beers in an icey cooler and sucking ‘em down! I was just drinking some in front of my brother Steve and taunting him because he can’t drink anymore because he got a liver transplant. Haha! Is that mean? He said ‘if you love Bud so much why don’t you write them a letter’, so I did. That is this email right here. I love Bud! Haha! Anyway, thanks for reading. If you have any encouraging words for my brother Steve, you can write them in an email if you want to respond. He can be a real tool sometimes, but in general he is a good guy. Yes, I have been drinking. This bud’s for you! Norman “Willy” Frillman |
Hey Norman,
Thanks for the e-mail. It’s great to hear you love Budweiser and I really appreciate your getting in touch! I hope that Steve is feeling better and wish him all the best in his recovery from a transplant. Just from you note, it sounds like Steve is a good guy and that the two of you have a relationship like me and my brothers do. I hope the two of you will get to hang out together sometime soon! Thanks again for the e-mail, Norman. Please let me know if there is ever anything I can do to help you out in the future. Joe Your Friend at Budweiser 1-800-DIAL-BUD (1-800-342-5283) |
SNICKERS CANDY
Mars Candy,
3 Musketeers is a candy bar with nougat covered in chocolate, a Milky Way is nougat and caramel covered in chocolate and a Snickers is nougat, caramel and peanuts covered in chocolate. Now you’ve miraculously taken it one step further, and added peanut butter to the combination (nougat, caramel, peanuts and peanut butter) but have not given this treat a new name? You’re simply calling it a ‘Snickers Peanut Butter!’ That is ridiculous! This new bar deserves an entirely new name and identity! The next level! Why haven’t you done this? I’m flummoxed. Dumbstruck. Flabbergasted! I’ve taken the liberty of coming up with a chunk of great names to name this new bar you’ve created… Infinity, Shucks, Kid Gloves, The Spangler, Nut Sack, Handlebar, Flim Flam, Nutty Professor, The Mowzer, Boing!, Hokey Pokey, Flayvin’, The Scooner, Back Lash, Sir Galahad, Monticello, Muncher Cruncher, Ol’ Ironsides, The Banger, Summer Dayz, French Kiss, Puckles, The Warbler, Money Shot, Hopscotch, Exsqueeze me?, Melty, Pomp & Circumstance, Yo Vinny!, Quarterback, Smooth & Rich, Heaven Rod, The Juggler, Straight Flush, Cream Fest, Teeth Tickler, Total Package, Shrug & Run, Deep Throat, Slam Dunk, Knocker, Nut Butter, Down The Hatch, Mt. Rushmore, Grizzly Bear, ChocoHammer, Peanut Batter, Elephant Cash. Let me know which one you like and we can run with it! I’m eagerly awaiting your response. Norman “Willy” Frillman |
Dear Mr. Frillman,
In response to your email regarding SNICKERS PEANUT BUTTER. Thank you for your email. It was thoughtful of you to offer your creative ideas. Unfortunately, it is our policy not to accept unsolicited ideas. At Mars Chocolate North America, we rely on our extensive Research and Development staff to design, develop and refine product concepts. Sometimes research and development can take years before a finished product can be marketed. To avoid confusion of ownership, we must refuse the thousands of suggestions we receive every year, many the same as yours. Although we appreciate your interest, we hope you will understand our business position. Have a great day! Your Friends at Mars Chocolate North America MM/ROBIASHL011413483A |
FOOT LOCKER
Foot Locker,
I recently went to one of your Foot Locker stores looking for a foot locker and NONE of your stores had any in stock. When I asked one of the sales persons (I believe his name was Stylez) in the striped shirts if they were getting more foot lockers, he said he didn’t know and that I should try another Foot Locker. I went to three more Foot Lockers that day, looking for a foot locker and found nothing! How can a store that sells foot lockers not have any foot lockers in their store? It’s completely ridiculous!!! Can you send me a list of stores that carry them? Thank you! Norman W Frillman |
Hello,
Thank you for your email. I have forwarded your email to our Product Specialist to further review. We will get back to you as soon as we hear back from them. Please let us know if we can assist you further. Sincerely, Eddie V. Customer Service Dear Mark and Gino, I have responded to this customer stating that I have forwarded their email message to the appropriate personnel to investigate. Customer email: nwillyfrill@gmail.com Summary of Issue/Question: Doesn't Footlocker sell footlockers? Sincerely, Eddie V. Customer Service |
WRANGLER JEANS
Wrangler
I love the toughness of wrangler jeans. I have to admit that i would not have worn them unless I saw Brett Favre wearing them. I lived in Africa for a number of years wrangling rhinos and went through jeans like tigers woods went through porn stars, but I’ve never worn jeans as good as these Wranglers. I figured once I saw my hero Brett Favre wearing them I’d give them a try. They were a perfect fit! And comfortable! I broke into the Bronx Zoo and tried to wrangle a rhino to give them a proper test, but I was arrested before I even got to the zebras. Even though I didn’t wrangle a rhino, the cops chased me around the entire African section. It took six men the get me down, and once they did they beat the hell outta me. I’d say it was a first class test of the jeans’ ruggedness. Nothing compared to what Brett goes through on a Sunday, but still... I tried to call Brett Favre to see if he could bail me out, but he’d already left New York for Minnesota. Anyway, love the jeans. Classy move on Favre as spokesman. Do you have his phone number or address? I’d love to contact him. Thanks! Norman “Willy” Frillman |
Dear Norman “Willy”:
Thank you for your email expressing your feelings about Wrangler products. I’m glad to hear you recovered from your beating. At Wrangler, we are constantly striving to produce top quality garments at reasonable prices that give our consumers complete satisfaction. Emails such as yours make us feel that our efforts are producing the superior results we are determined to achieve. If we can ever help you in any way concerning our garments, please let us know. We appreciate you taking the time to write. Kind Regards, Eve Birkholz Wrangler Consumer Relations 1-888-784-8571 |
Red Bull
Red Bull,
I just pulled a Triple Lindy and I owe it all to Red Bull! Two months after getting out of the hospital with a full facial fracture and spine displacement, I was back out doin’ what I do! My confidence was down, but I was getting stronger everyday. I had broken tons of stuff before - both my elbows, my leg, my tailbone, my fingers and toes, and have sliced open my neck and torn my sack – but this last accident really shook me. I got back on the board and pulled the triple! I had never had a Red Bull before, and after I had it, I pulled the TL. Coincidence? I Think NOT! It definitely gave me wings! Speaking of wings, how can I fly one of those little jet plane things I see on TV where the guys are weeving through the cones in the water? That is seriously dope! Do you need a lesson to do that? Peace! Norman “Willy” Frillman |
Hi Norman,
This is Marissa from Red Bull, I just got your email and I have to say it is a pretty rad story, so I just wanted to talk to you a little bit… um… and you know, catch up and, ‘cause I know you’re a big Red Bull fan… As far as flying one of those little jet plane things that you see on TV, weaving through the cones as you described it, that is actually Red Bull Air Race… um, if you check out redbullairrace.com, you can get the lowdown on that and see what it takes to be one of the pilots. And I’m preeeeetty sure those guys have been doing it for a very long time. So, hopefully maybe one day you’ll be good enough to join them. But yea, give us a call back, I definitely wanted to chat for a little bit, you can hit us back at 877 673 9444. Look forward to talking to you. Bye Norman! |
RED LOBSTER
Red lobster.
After watching one of your ridiculously tempting commercials, I stole in my neighbors car and went searching for a red lobster. After finding one, I sat and ate 3 lobster special with much delight!!! Do your chefs train at a school? Who catches the stuff? Do the fishermen use fishing poles? Is it ok to eat lobster shells? Red lobster is the best!!! How do you make the commercials look so delicious? I mean there’s water and lemon juice and butter spraying everywhere!!! Its seafood porn! LOL! Is there a special company that shoots this footage? I heard Scorsese once shot a Red Lobster commercial in the late 80’s. Is that true? What do you guys do with the shrimp heads? Do you use them for other things like kids school lunches? Do you donate any uneaten food to farms or the homeless? I really love Red Lobster so much and now I think I want to know more about what you guys do. Do you have a website where you can learn more about Red Lobster stuff? Thanks! Norman Willy Frillman |
Dear Mr. Frillman,
Thank you for contacting Red Lobster. It is always a pleasure to hear from our guests, and we value your feedback. We are delighted that you enjoyed one of our Red Lobster commercials. We try to make advertisements that are both fun and whet the audience’s appetite for our seafood. Your comments will be shared with our Marketing Department. We really appreciate that you took the time to contact us, and we hope to have the opportunity to serve you in one our restaurants soon. Sincerely, Wanda Senior Guest Relations Representative |
BRILLO
Brillo,
I wanted to write you guys to tell you thanks for a great product. I recently decided to bake some bats in my wife’s oven (believe me, she’s made it clear it’s hers) and things went a little haywire. I guess I put too many bats in the oven and some of them caught on fire. Six or seven of them exploded like popcorn and burst into flames!!! The pieces clung to the sides and scorched her professional chef style oven. Smoke billowed out and really started to freak-out the other bats in the cage. The shrieking was something terrible! When my wife returned from ladies javelin night, she was NOT happy! She practically staked me to the wall! I ran out and got an oven cleaner brand (which I won’t name) that proved to be extremely ineffective. In fact it made it worse, causing thick smoke that set our hyenas into a tizzy! Brillo (and a little elbow grease) helped take care of any further problems by cleaning the oven completely and making it sparkle like new, without any fumes or smoke. Thanks for the help. I am now banned from the kitchen, but still allowed near the grill… LOL! Norman Willy Frillman |
Hi Norman,
Thank you for your kind words. We are glad Brillo was able to complete the task. Have a great day! Sandy |
COLUMBIA SPORTSWEAR
Columbia,
I wanted to write to you to tell you that Columbia clothing saved my life! Last Christmas while taking a rather speedy hayride, a large bump in the road dislodged me from the back and sent me careening down an icy hillside slope and into the dark abyss of the lonely and unforgiving wilderness. The temperatures dropped rapidly! I feared for my life out there in the snowy unknown. The wind picked up and the wildlife began calling as if they knew a fallen victim was in their vicinity, waiting to become their dinner. I walked in the deep snow what seemed like for days, drinking my own urine and eating pinecones for sustenance. Luckily I had on a Columbia jacket or I don’t think I’d have made it through the night. When the morning came, I used the sun to guide me back to the lodge where I proceeded to consume eggnog and bacon till the feeling came back into my face. Thank you all for your great outerwear. I’d be lost without it! Norman Willy Frillman |
Hello Norman,
Thank you for contacting us! That sounds like it was quite the trip! I don’t think I will be taking any winter hay rides anytime soon after hearing about this. I am glad to hear that you were impressed with our gear, and I am even more delighted to hear how it helped you survive through the night. If you think the gear you have now is awesome just wait until you get a chance to try out our new Omni-Heat technology. Designed for the rugged greater outdoors it is full of these cool reflective dots on the inside of that jacket that reflect back the heat your body generates. I also would like to know if you would be interested in some Columbia stickers. It would be a great way to show your pride of our gear and I would love to mail some to you. Please let me know if you would be interested. Regards, Michael Customer Care Columbia Sportswear Company 
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Hi Michael,
Thanks for the response! Is that a real technology? That sounds absolutely fascinating! Little reflective dots that bounce the heat back onto you… Futuristic! That reminds me of a time I was in Boy Scouts and we created an oven out of a box and some mirrors and cooked our meal in the sunlight. It actually worked! In fact it worked too well as we burned our squirrel meat until it was like jerky. We ate it anyway! I’d love some stickers! I’ll stick them up wherever I go. I’ll keep an eye out for the Omni-Heat outerwear and will upgrade my winter clothing as soon as I can! All the best, Norman “Willy” Frillman XXX E. 78 St. #18 New York, NY 10075 |
Hello Norman,
It is a real technology! It’s pretty awesome the way it works, effectively making insulation such as down or fleece 20% warmer than previous methods. We currently are the only company to offer this kind of technology. You also gain the added advantage of knowing that wearing Omni-Heat instantly makes you 20% hotter than your buddies. Talk about some smart technology for stupid cold! Oddly enough I myself do occasionally enjoy squirrel jerky. I especially love the peppered variety. I am hoping that you enjoy it as much as I do. Look forward to the stickers! And don’t forget to check out Omni-Heat on our website. Thank you for contacting us and stay safe in the greater outdoors! If you have any more questions or comments feel free to contact us again. Thank you, Michael 
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