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A GOVERNMENT FOR THE RICH PEOPLE, BY THE RICH PEOPLE


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Original Writing: 2011 • Revised: 2019

​There are two subjects you should never talk about in mixed company and they’re religion and politics. Why? Because you’re bound to butt heads with someone whose opinion differs wildly from your own and that is never a pretty thing. Especially when it’s about subjects that are as polarizing as religion and politics.
 
The same can be said for writing about these two subjects as well. Unfortunately I already broke the first rule by writing about religion in a blog post about religious holiday celebrations. Although to be clear, I wasn’t writing about any kind of beliefs or from any secular standpoint; just that we need to open the American holiday calendar for different religions to worship besides the Christians. Basically, it was a selfish plea to get more days off from work and nothing more. Can’t really argue with that logic.
 
But now I’m about to open the second can of worms and write about politics. Although I won’t say anything that you don’t already know. I’m a registered Independent myself, back when it meant that I didn’t want to be a part of any particular party because I always wanted to vote for the best candidate no matter what their affiliation was and I think the party system is destroying the government from within. And I’m not the only one who thinks that. In fact, George Washington, Alexander Hamilton and John Adams were vehemently against the two party system because they thought it would divide the country. Thomas Jefferson and James Madison wanted a two party system to prevent Washington from turning the country into a monarchy. Basically. It goes much deeper, but I won’t bore you with details. 
 
All you should know is that the two parties (the Federalists & the Democrats) have been butting heads ever since. Except now the Federalists are the Democratic Party and the Democrats are the Republicans. I know, it’s confusing. If you want to know more, crack open your kid’s American History text book. Now the Independents are an actual party and have been nothing more than a mosquito-like nuisance since the day they came to be.
 
Anyway, unless you’ve been living under a piece of plywood in the woods (the one with spiders and pill bugs attached to it) then you know that the fires of the Presidential furnace are being stoked. If you didn’t realize that a Presidential election is coming, I completely understand. The actual election itself isn’t for another 14 months—God help us all. That means we’re about to be subjected to an onslaught of mudslinging and name calling campaigns, the likes of which we’ve never seen. And it will go on and on for over a year. Simply dreadful.
 
Remember in the Lord Of The Rings when the Mountains of Mordor started heating up? Enormous trees were chopped down and tossed into giant fires and orcs were digging other orcs out of the muddy ground, forming an army to do battle on Middle Earth. This parable is completely relevant to the Presidential Election. The only difference is that the battles will take place on TV and the orcs are in suits—their weapons are words and their shields are polished with Crest white strips and Bryllcreem.
 
This is the main reason you’ve been seeing a bunch of sharp dressed people on the news lately—because of this “upcoming” election. You’ve seen them, of course. They look like a culmination of people you’ve totally despised throughout your life—pushy teacher’s, incompetent bosses, aggressive Wall Street douchbag types and every other self-important, moneyed mannequin-like humanoid who are completely and utterly out of touch with what is actually going on in the world outside of their stock portfolio and their powerful friends’ self-interests. They’re cocked, loaded and ready to go—their sites aimed clearly at our current President. And I’m not just talking about the Republicans. Everyone is gunning for the Big Guy.
 
Unfortunately, President O’Bama has done nothing to show he’s ready for the barrage of bombs that are coming his way. Which is unfortunate, because if you cut through all the political bullshit, Barrack O’Bama is a charismatic, intelligent and good natured man who’s an excellent representative of America for the rest of the world. Yet, instead of cleaning up the mess Dubya made when he whipped out his cock and pissed on half the planet, he instead tried to fix the country from the inside first — a rare instance in which it may have benefitted the U.S. if he’d given the proverbial car a shiny coat of paint before tuning up the engine.
 
Now he’s stuck in a quagmire of health care paperwork he’s desperately trying to dig out from, while trying to employ millions of unemployed people, by creating jobs that don’t exist, for services that no one needs or wants. It’s a lose-lose situation and no one in his ranks is competent enough to tell him otherwise.
 
What O’bama’s cabinet failed to realize is that our two party government works on a pattern that hasn’t changed in a hundred years or so— The Republicans come into power, get all their rich friends even richer, while raising the national debt and walk all over the common people, while simultaneously blowing the holy bejesus out of some remote country 5,000 miles away from the comfy confines of Washington D.C. Then the Democrats come in and clean all this shit up, while deflecting political bombs, evening the money out and trying to control spending and the national debt while negotiating peace.
 
This pattern grinded to a halt because O’bama and his cabinet didn’t follow history. Although to be fair, the history has been out of whack since the Dubya administration because they fucked it up first. Which isn’t hard to believe because Dubya wouldn’t understand the concept if he snorted it up his nose. But his right hand man, Dick Cheney (and even his papa, George H.W. Bush) should have taught him the proper historical timeline. They all went a bridge too far and really screwed up the country, making it beyond repair. The Republicans were just supposed to muck up the country a little, not completely screw it up. They almost single handedly destroyed the middle class while making the rich, filthy rich and added a whopping six trillion dollars to the national debt in one year! ONE YEAR! The Dubya administration DOUBLED the national debt from 6 trillion to 12 trillion in one year. Wow!
 
O’bama had to come in and essentially mop up a machete genocide with a Swiffer. And not even the new Swiffer with the little button that shoots out the liquid first, but the old one that was basically a maxipad on a stick—simply impossible. And the world tried to help O’bama out by handing him a Nobel Peace Prize to jump start the clean up process, but it was already too late. The hole was too big to climb out of. And from the looks of it, he’s still inside that hole. And he might as well stay there because now it’s a foxhole. Someone hand the poor bastard a helmet because shit’s about to blow up.
 
Still, O’bama should have known better. It was his job to stick to the manual and fix the mess. Instead, he tried to reinvent the wheel from the word GO and it may have cost him his job. I understand he wanted to have an impact and make some changes he felt the country needed. After all, he was representing the people. But you can’t give the car a shiny new coat of paint if you haven’t washed the mud off first! (I’m really enjoying this ‘car as country’ comparison). And now our economy has been down graded from AAA to AA. We went from a new Bentley to a used Mercedes in the blink of an eye and we don’t even have the comfort of AAA service in case of an accident. (I think the car thing is out of control now). Our Mercedes has rust, the engine is knocking and we didn’t even get the coat of paint. We’re about to get a DWI. (Stop it already with the car thing!). Maybe we need AA at this point. Not the credit rating but the alcohol support group. (oh boy.)
 
And in case anyone missed it, our credit degrading wasn’t even the low point in our recent economic meltdown. Not by a long shot. The low point came when the Republicans backed O’bama into a corner and forced him to extend the tax breaks for the rich that Dubya implemented in return for raising our debt limit. Truly, without a doubt, one of the most despicable displays of selfishness I’ve seen in my life. And if I, or YOU for that matter, had any kind of a fucking spine, we’d of marched in the streets and burned this government to the god-forsaken ground using the rich folks who smugly let this happen as kindling for the fires. We should all be ashamed of ourselves. Every single one of us—rich, poor and middle class alike.
 
So here we are. Interviewing obnoxious political candidates for a chance to win the job as president of these here United States of America. They’re going to smile and say all sorts of bullshit that they think we want to hear, make promises they can never keep and make wild claims we can never cross reference to see if they’re true. We’re still in the stages of elimination. Sort of like a reality game show where candidates try and knock the other candidates out of the competition. Like Survivor, except these people actually influence your life in some way—frightening!
 
When all is said and done, we’ll have two (or three) candidates, both (or all) of whom have displayed every horrible character flaw known to man, and it will be left in our capable hands to decide which is the lesser of two (maybe three) evils. The focus will get super tight and then we can dissect each candidate and their own personal history with laser like precision; like a corpse on CSI. It’s going to be exhausting. We the people have to decide which mouth-frothing lunatic, who just spent a year assassinating the character of everyone except their family, will be running the country. It’s going to get racial, it’s going to get ugly and it’s going to get downright nasty.
 
Good Luck!
 
You’re going to need it…

UPDATE: 2019

I'm all for change and new ideas but it's clear our current president is such a moron, he may actually start WWIII. And that's not an exaggeration. He's simply that stupid. How Trump even became our president is unclear. Probably because a good faction of our country simply hates black people and getting someone like Trump into office—someone who has a long, ugly, racist history of reprehensible behavior towards minorities, washed wash the taste of O'bama from their mouths any way they could.

I disliked Trump years, hell, DECADES before he became president. He's left nothing but a wake of misery in his path since the early 80s in the guide of prosperity. Stiffing anyone in his employ and ruining the lives of thousands of people to line his pockets. His ruse as being a business man is laughable, as his only plan is to stuff his coffers with cash and check out under bankruptcy. It's awful.

His strategy to to run the USA like a business seems to be going to lan as he's on path to destroy it. Sure, the stock market is up and unemployment is down, but are we sure he's really responsible? How responsible can he really be. He pushing coal mining like it's solar power. The man is a lunatic.

Now that a NEW election is upon us, the Dems are parading out every idiot that can strap on a blue tie to fight him. But that's not a strategy for a new President, right? The ANTI-Trump? That's not a platform. Sure, saying you won't imprison children and generally fuck everything up is a good idea, but it's not a political platform.

It's important that if Trump is to be replaced, it must be done with a candidate that is running purely on merit alone. Laughable, yes... I'm a dreamer, but not the only one.

Copyright © 2019 A.J. Schmitz Design. All Rights Reserved.
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